A huge part of what makes me who I am is my belief in the ability to grow constantly.

It's really important to me that I'm always learning from my mistakes, shortcomings and even successes. 

I just turned 23, and in the small bit of time since, I've been piecing together a formative list of the traits I'd most love to have as I get older:

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I'd like to be best known for my patience and selflessness.

But even so, I don't need to be defined by the good or bad that people think of me. 

I'm consistent with my friends.

I finish every book I start.

I'm never late. (Wild, I know.)

I'm gentle with my siblings. 

I'm happy to be vulnerable in order to represent a part of myself I'm proud of. 

The best version of me doesn't pick fights, doesn't even respond when someone else does. 

I'm the best listener.

I make people laugh.

I know that my art is worth paying for.

I'm not afraid of what I want because I know the difference between being selfish and being myself. 

I give the best advice but only when I'm asked to, and I never say I love you just to hear you say it back. 

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I am always reminding myself how "ready"

I am to be the girl who has all these traits.

But this time, ready or not, I'm just going to

show up as her. 

 

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Last year I had a few experiences that left me really discouraged by people I looked up to. Just like with myself, I sometimes have a hard time differentiating between who a person is and who I'd love for them to get to be. I am so inspired by the potential I see in others. I'm here to connect, not compete. (I thought we all were!) But it's such a detriment to myself and others to rely so heavily on another person's ability to be who I think they are capable of. I never want to be someone that other people would be disappointed to meet, I'm the same girl online and in person. 

 

So I think as a creator, artist, and baby business owner, I'm beginning to find that the person I hope will be one of my biggest roles models this year, is me. It's cool to have people to look up to but I want to be the person whose approval I need most with my work. And I want to be really proud of my own authenticity and who I'm becoming as a brand. I hope that I'll always be getting closer to my best self and in doing so, be the best person to my clients too. 

 

The best version of me does everything out of love. I have no one to impress but her. It shouldn't really matter if someone or something isn't as great as I hoped they were because my identity isn't going to be centered in the success or realness of someone's internet personality. 

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Right now I'm still so much a consumer of the people who inspire me. I'm working on creating more than I consume and doing it for my own improvement, so I can best serve the people I care about. The people who believe in me and the work that I do. I'm learning to trust the fact that the best way to grow my business is to stay true to the parts of it I love. I want to create what I love, not what makes me the most money, or what "fits in" with what everyone else is doing. 

I read somewhere that in order to be successful you have to be willing to see your competitors get everything you want for yourself. I've been saying that to myself for a year now but I'm starting to live in that reality. I'm the only person that can do the work it takes to have those same results I'm craving. The best version of me is happy for them and also for my own progress. 

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